Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Boyfriend/Girlfriend Trap

So I have been talking a lot with my single friends and the one thing that I really notice is that they all seem to be desperately searching for a partner. Now many of these people proclaim that they love the single life, they aren't looking for a relationship, and they want to make better decisions the next time around. LIARS! All of them. Every time a person of the opposite sex (or the same sex in some cases) approaches them and offers themselves as an opportunity the response is rarely negative. People! Being horny is no excuse for wasting your lives in bad relationships! Everybody needs to take some time to breathe at the end of a relationship, to become reacquainted with who THEY are outside of a partnership, what their strengths and weaknesses are, what they need and want to work on and what their goals are. The problem is that libidos don't just lie in wait, until it is convenient for us to be horny. Our bodies and brains trick us into thinking that we NEED somebody to be with, for sex, for love, or just for human contact.

As often as I have heard my friends complain about wanting a better relationship the next time around, I see them enter into a relationship on impulse. They go into relationships knowing hardly anything about the other person, and they give them TONS of leeway almost always resulting in them being hurt. Everybody is so damn concerned about getting laid and being in a happy coupled relationship, that they pay no attention to what they are actually doing and how far from that they are actually putting themselves. Granted not every relationship ends badly, but from what I have seen, for a relationship to have any kind of success, the people need to know each other fairly well, and have seen how the other behaves in social settings and in their own homes. They either have some SOLID background on their prospective partner, or they recognize the warning signals and end it BEFORE it goes badly. The people who have the highest rate of failure are often the people with the lowest self esteem. They are so willing to look past the other persons faults that they can't see the forest for the trees, so to speak. Having your own faults is not a good reason for excusing somebody being a jerk, the only thing that it IS a good reason for, is working on your own faults in order to become a better person and being more comfortable with yourself.

My advice to those out there, looking for love, or not, is this: Get to know yourself, love yourself, do something just for YOU and start working towards who you want to become before you focus your attention on somebody else. You can hardly expect to be able to function properly in a relationship, when you don't know who you are or what you want. These are the situations in which people behave on impulse, analyze and criticize themselves and never fully understand why they are doing what they are doing. You can not know where you stand with somebody, or where they stand with you, if you have no idea what you want or expect out of a relationship. You have to figure out what you are looking for, and what you are willing to give up, before you settle for less, and give up your dreams for somebody who will never make you truly happy.


  1. I completely agree with your comment about being horny is no reason to be in a bad or any kind of a relationship, for that matter, if that's all it's for...


  2. Yep. I think that people decide that they cannot get by without sex, and it's bull. People go a LONG time without sex when they cant find somebody to screw they don't die. Going a few months is not going to hurt anybody.